lyzza’s haven

sportsfest

I plead guilty… Because of my captain lion heart, I surrender.. I was a fanatic,,, of guess what? (dribble) Yes, I may be petite and fragile looking but I used to be a basketball fanatic.

Fellow toastmasters and guests, good evening

When I was still in my elementary years, as much as my mom and I wanted to watch and trail every episode of telenovela series like most women do, my stepfather and brother made it not possible for us to do so. They always watched PBA games and were avid fans of the San Miguel Beermen. This paved the way to my addiction to the sport during those times. But unlike them, I was not cheering for the Beermen. I was a devoted follower of Purefoods TJ Hotdogs team particularly my captain lion heart, Alvin Patrimonio.

Sports analysts call him “The Captain Lion Heart” because of his role as the team captain and passion for the sport. I considered him as my idol. And I was not just an ordinary follower; I was then an ardent fan. You want some evidence? I was able to compose a poem especially made for him, which was hanging in my room in Carcar. I also have a huge poster of Patrilyz (my invented code name for him which is a combination of his family name Patrimonio and my nickname Lyzza). All of my notebooks were covered with cut out pictures and his name was written all over the pages. My mother used to reprimand me and my brother teased me that it’s foolish of me to act like that and that Alvin did not deserve it because he is not really that competent. These teasing would always result to arguments. At my young immature mindset, I vowed to fight for my idol no matter what.

I really became an extremely obsessed basketball enthusiast. I watched every game, even during examination period. It makes me smile everytime I remember my foolishness in thinking that there is a connection between the things that I do with the chance of Purefoods’ winning or losing the game. If there is an instance during the game that I bit my lower lip like this and my team was able to score, everytime the ball goes to their court, I always bit my lower lip thinking that they can score again. If I noticed that the team won during times that I wore white, blue or any color – I made it a point to wear those lucky colors every time they had a game. If the opposing team fails to score if I don’t look at the television - everytime the ball goes to their court, I shifted my eyes away from the TV so that they cannot score a point. I am as happy as a child given a gift everytime they win. There were even times that in my excitement I jumped clapping and dancing oblivious to the stares of our neighbors who watched television in our house. That’s how paranoid I was.

There was one birthday of mine that I spent hungry and crying because of this foolishness. It was the do or die championship game between Purefoods and Alaska, I was really tensed because the fight was very close. All the presumed to be lucky tricks that I knew was put into place, I was really hopeful that my team will win since it was my birthday. I even prayed for their win, it was my birthday wish. However, it has been a tradition in our hometown that everytime we have birthdays or any celebration, we always share our food with our neighbors. As we were about to take our dinner, my mother asked me to bring some food to our neighbor’s house. It was the last quarter of the championship game; I was really hesitant to adhere to my mother’s request. I was even tempted to resort to malingering. On my way home, I was literally running, as I was afraid that I would not be able to witness the last part of the game. When I arrived home, I was welcomed by the mockery of my brother. Purefoods lost! And just by a half shot. I cried and immediately went to our room and buried myself in a pillow. If only I was there to watch, I knew my team would win! If only I was there to do my lucky tactics, I’m sure they would be the champions! But I wasn’t, and the same reality bit me, my birthday wish was not granted – my team lost. And I asked myself, Why Me? Why this? Why Now? I spent the whole night of my supposed to be happy birthday crying and hungry since I refused to eat.

Everytime I remember that day, I can’t help but smile at my childish act.I continued being a fan of Purefoods, until the day that such foolishness almost became the reason of broken friendship. Me and my barkada had a misunderstanding about it (she was a fan of San Miguel). We were not talking for weeks because of that incident.

After our heart to heart talk and reconciliation, I realized 3 things; being a fan of basketball or any sport is not bad as long as you know your limits, its not good to invest too much emotion on somebody who doesn’t even have the slightest idea that you exist, and give more value to people who loves you like your family and friends.

I have surpassed that stage of immaturity. I still watch basketball once in awhile, but I don’t do those silly things anymore. Gone is the obsessed fan within me. Somehow, I am glad that I went through that experience, I gained a lot of lessons. And I learned to value more a lot of things.

I already bid goodbye to my ex captain lion heart. Now, I plead not guilty and I am confident that I will be acquitted beyond reasonable doubt.

Toastmaster of the evening

fun

See this pair of heels I’m wearing? Isn’t it nice? And it feels comfortable to wear too!

Fellow Toastmasters and guests, good evening.

There are times when I see a pair of black shoes; I remember a point in my life when I realize what selfless love means. I was in my fourth grade in elementary when I wore a single pair of worn out black shoes to school everyday. One day after dismissal, while we were walking in the campus grounds to go home, I felt the sole of my left shoe gave way and was detached from its body. Some high school students saw me and laughed. I was on the verge of tears but I controlled my emotions and proceeded limping towards the parking area of tricycles. When I arrived home, Mama was surprised to see me limping from the road towards our house. She thought I was injured but when she saw the reason why, I saw tears in her eyes as she said “Sige lang day, palit lang unya ta bag o inig sweldo”.

At that moment, I felt the pain of my mother looking at her daughter in such situation. I knew she wanted to buy me a new pair of shoes long before but could not afford due to limited budget. My father died early and she was left with 3 kids to feed and send to school. Mama is a like a superwoman who played the role of a mother and father at the same time. I knew she was having a hard time looking for means to cater to our financial needs. Rarely did I see her buy a new dress or anything for herself. It was always “us” before “hers”. At the dining table, she is always the last one to put food in her plate after the 3 of us had our share. Sometimes I heard her mention that her colleagues will be going to some place for a convention but I never saw her join any of these conventions or outings because we do not have an extra budget for that. Despite all of these, she never complained. And even during trying moments, she never resorted to being a sycophant.

The selfless love that our mother gave us was so overwhelming. We realized this even at a young age. I’ve been wearing that worn out shoes for months but I never complained because I know Mama could not afford to buy a new one. When we go to department stores, you will never hear me or any of my brothers demand from Mama to buy us this or that. We always wait for her to decide on what essential things to buy. Somehow, I am grateful that we grew up that way because now that we are older, my 2 brothers and I are just simple persons with simple needs and simple wants.

All of us strived to do well in our studies because we know that it is the best way to repay Mama for all her sacrifices. I can still imagine her happy and proud face while telling her friends that we are doing well in school. She has always been the wind beneath our wings. She always understands and supports us in our endeavor. Even until today, when Mama sees a friend or relative whom she hasn’t seen for a long time, she proudly tells them that all of her children are professionals already. Sometimes I wanted to make her stop but could not afford to do so when I see her vibrant face as she talks about us, like an excited child given a new toy. I am glad that she is happy and proud of the achievements we strived for because of her.

Until now, Mama still has simple wants. When my younger brother came home last year, he asked her what she wanted for pasalubong and she said that she do not want any material thing, just for my brother to come home safely. And every time I bring her to malls for shopping, she always looks at the price first before selecting what to buy. One time she handed me a pair of sandals she liked but the price was not indicated. When we went to the counter and she saw that the price was P1, 000 plus, she wanted to return it because it was expensive! Now, I encourage her to join their conventions and outings. My brother and I are planning to bring her to a nice place someday for vacation but she doesn’t want the idea because it’s expensive. My brother wanted me to persuade her. I don’t know why but she easily listens and gives in to me than to my brothers. It gives a twinge of pain in my heart every time we buy her a dress or anything new because I remembered the times when she never experienced it. It’s now her turn to be pampered after sacrificing for us for quite some time. Now, she won’t feel the pain in seeing one of her children wear a pair of worn out black shoes anymore.

This is my favorite pair of black shoes. I love to wear it! Why? Because even if I can now afford to buy a new pair, this was bought by a very special person. Mama gave this to me..

Toastmaster of the evening…

atmc induction 2008

I remembered when i was tasked to be the Toastmaster of the evening in one of our Toastmasters meeting last 2006, Queenie, a previous officemate introduced and described me as a superwoman.. (brows raised) Superwoman? What made her say that?

Well in her introduction she mentioned that i seemed to know lots of things, dancing, singing (heheh), acting (heheh again) while at the same time balancing it with work, family and toastmasters.

I cannot help but remember what she said.. Am i really a superwoman? Hhhmmm, guess not..

Last year when merven decided to work in malaysia, i was faced and presented with a great challenge. Since he was ATMC VP Ed, Merven was supposed to take over the presidency. But he left! The thought of me taking over instead was entertained. But hey, i’m not ready for it.. I don’t want to rush things, i felt i still have to learn more before accepting such big role.. So am i superwoman? Guess not…

This year, i am taking over the second in command post of vp ed. Plans for the next TI year were discussed and again, i am presented with the challenge.. Superwoman to accept? Hhmmm, guess not…

I’ll be having my last year in masters hopefully next year, i am and will be learning new tasks and will be taking over new responsibilities at work, my family is having a big project requiring much of my inputs… the list could go on… and i think i am not superwoman after all to do all those things at the same time… much less adding the pressures of heading a club full of talented people.. I sure have my limits.. Superwoman? I’m sure not…

Maybe queenie was thinking of somebody else after all.. not me… =)

to the tune of...

Last week, we saw this ad in the newspaper about a concert of richard poon with sitti as his guest. Being the old time favorites music lover that we are, we agreed to watch it.. still the the three of us, me, mam gildz and mam riella with her mom.

After a tiring “Bazaar” day in the office, we proceeded to sm for the concert. We patiently waited for it to start. A band suddenly went up the stage and introduced themselves as the “soul string” band. They entertained us for about an hour while waiting for richard. Their music was soothing and the voice of the singer was really unique. They have their own trademark.

Finally, richard poon was introduced. And my, he really is striking! From the way he carries himself, to his boyish face and very capturing voice. He is into standard music, my type, our type. Everytime he sings, its as if he is not really putting that much effort in singing. He was very calm and articulate.

Somebody from our back kept on shouting “i love you richard!”.. and my, he went up to the upper box where we were sitting.

We waited for more than an hour before he eventually came out. But it was worth the wait. It was indeed an evening to remember. His music was my type of music, classic but never lost its quality.. I really enjoyed listening to his soothing voice.. Music that lingers even till now.

men of my life

He is safe!

The last two days have been full of apprehensions, paranoid thoughts and worries for me. I received this text message from my older brother asking me the name of the ship by younger brother is currently aboard. Why he asked? Beacause a tanker carrying oil has been hijacked by pirates in Somalia, and the company is the same company where by brother is working.

My mind wanted to shout! I cannot remember the name of dodong’s ship coz he was transferred three times! All i know is that it ended with a star. Worries came rushing into my mind. What if he is there? How is he? If only i could just keep him in my shield, i wish i could.. I wasn’t able to sleep for 3 nights in a row. Paranoid thoughts came popping into my mind, making it active despite the tiredness of my limbs.

I was drowning in fear. I called the wife of one of his co-seaman before. I asked her if she had any news and if she could kindly give me the number of the agency so that i could call to put an end to these worries. She was very accommodating and assured me that i need not worry because dodong is not in that ship. But still, i wasn’t reassured. I wanted to hear him desperately!

At last he called! I cannot explain the happiness i felt upon hearing his voice two hours ago. He is safe! Thank God! and he has some good news too!

I’m very thankful for this development. The most awaited one.. From a very important man in my life.. He always tells me i love you everytime he calls and i always reply i love you.. Anybody within hearing distance would think that i’m talking to my boyfriend.. But its actually him.. Its amazing how distance made us closer and open to one another. We used to think it corny to say those things to each other. But now that he is far, it is the most natural thing in the world to say..

I love him dearly..

Thank you Lord..

fresh look

“NO one can predict to what heights one can soar, until she spreads her wings…” Fellow Toastmasters and guests, Good Evening….

“Life is about taking risks. Adventure is about trying something new and unfamiliar. “Olyzza, you will act the part of the poor girl” – this made me want to crawl and hide underneath the table. At the back of my mind I was shouting, “But I don’t know how to act…” But of course, you cannot directly tell this to your boss especially if you’re still new. “What shall I do? How can I give justice to the role?” During our practices, I was literally lousy and others will tell me, “you should look pitiful and cry”. The day of the presentation finally came. Everyone was telling me, “Lyz, you should cry (with gestures)…” I panicked! And as I went to the stage and adjusted my eyes to the spotlight, I cried and cant seem to stop crying anymore. I did justice to the role! Care about the performance, Yes, but at least I discovered something new about myself. I can act, if I really want to. It also reunited me to the young Olyzza I once had been.

After giving birth to 2 boys, my parents prayed for a little girl. On May 7, 1982 their prayers were granted. Here comes me, the “unica hija” of the family, I was loved, & after barely a year one of the best friends I ever have was born, my baby brother. When I was 2 years old, my doting brother Orwen died. After 2 years, my Papa Henry joined him in heaven. I was not able to feel the loss at that time since I was still very young. Despite this, Olyzza grew up to be a jolly and vibrant little girl who never fails to put a smile on everybody’s faces. She always showcases her declamation, singing and dancing skills when given the chance. I don’t know what happened but during her elementary and high school years in St. Catherine’s College in Carcar– Olyzza drastically became a secretive, reserved and aloof young. It is in her high school years that she discovered her passion for reading, writing, and old meaningful songs. She graduated in the University of San Carlos with a degree of Bachelor of Science in Accountancy in Oct 2003 and passed the CPA Licensure Exams in May 2004.

In college Olyzza got a glimpse of a picture of what she intends to be.

 As a daughter, she regards her mother as the most important person aside from God. She is her weakest point; she always gets vulnerable when it comes to her mom. Maybe because she witnessed the sacrifices her mom did for them.

As a sister, even if she is not the eldest – she seems to think and speak like an experienced and mature woman that is why her Manong Omar always seeks her advise. She is also a very sweet Ate to her Baby Brother Orville and she always tries her best to give him everything he wants. She loves him dearly that she cries everytime he calls.

As a friend, she is the confidante of the group. She never judges the actions of her friends. “This is my opinion but I’m not telling you to do this. What may be wrong for others may be perfectly right for you; I have no right to tell you otherwise. And I will never judge you…”, these she tells her friends with tact & respect.

As a lover, she used to give all her love to a man without leaving anything for herself but she realized that the only way to love others is to love yourself first.

There are times when we let our fears get ahead of us and prevent us from trying out new things and from rediscovering ourselves. But later on we’ll realize that life has so much to offer and it will be a waste if we do not try and grab every opportunity that will come our way.

My first job was as an internal auditor in the Metro Gaisano Group of Companies. But there was something amiss. When I joined ACO, I was a pupa who is afraid to get out of its cocoon. I was glad and thankful that MRB forced me to act; it revived the jolly and vibrant young Olyzza inside me. It is also in this company that I found my mentor who not just teaches me what I need to know about work but also shares her experiences and insights about life in general.

My more than a year stay in ACO has somehow molded me into a tiny butterfly, slowly fluttering its wings. I don’t know what lies ahead and what God’s plans are, but I will surely face it with optimism and with brave heart.

After all, “NO one can predict to what heights one can soar. Until this tiny butterfly in me will spread her wings…” Want to know? Be surprised! TM of the Evening…

make up galore

I used to believe that I could make things work just with my own efforts.

Being on the lead, the one who navigates I used to think that I am good enough.

Being the thinker, the one who initiates steps to sustain and to improve I used to believe that everything will work out fine.

As long as everything is according to my plan, according to how I think is best everything will run smoothly. I never thought of myself as the one who just wait and depend on somebody, I always have this urge to step up and ahead to lay out what should be done.

But I was wrong.

Not all plans can come into reality, and it is very wrong for me to think that I can control all happenings around me. Very wrong for me to think that I always have to think ahead, making sure that everything will run smoothly. Not all times should I be on the lead, not all times should I dictate what should be done. It takes two to tango, even more to form a dance presentation. I am not superwoman who can always say that what she is thinking is the best thing to do.

I must learn to listen and to understand.

 I must learn to step aside and to follow.

 I must learn to think that not all things will be according to plan.

 I must learn to let the other person do the thinking, the leading and share the planning.

different

I go for light rock and romantic old songs. I know and memorize a few lines of a lot of it.

I like writing and reading, but I fear speaking.

I love my family, my source of inspiration.

I am the unica hija, with two brothers who pampers me.

I am loved and pampered by my mom so much till now that I am already in my mid 20’s.

I like movies that can make me laugh, sometimes movies that can make me cry and movies that inspires.

I like to collect “kuting” things.

I sometimes go to “kids” section of department stores to look for something to wear.

I usually have a hard time looking for shoes that would fit my toes.

I sometimes long for steamed fried rice and shaomai w/ quail eggs of Harbour City.

I like to dilly-dally at the kid’s section and just look at cute children’s dresses and accessories.

I like to tug along my niece and nephew in going to malls and fast food chains.

I sleep late and if time permits, wake up late. I’m not a morning person. I wake up to my alarm, turn it off and stay lying in bed closing my eyes to slowly condition my mind that its time to get out of bed. =) Sleepyhead

I am usually greeted by my sneezing nose in the morning. My sneezing nose also accompanies me as I go to sleep most of the time especially if its really late already.

I eat only selected fruits.

I know how to bake, very little on how to cook but I’m slowly learning.

I love ice cream and chocolates.

I like inspirational books, but schoolbooks are my sleeping pills.

I occasionally crave for coffee but I limit myself to one cup a day (sometimes I’m successful).

I am not comfortable without a hanky.

I like fashion jewelries, earrings especially.

I like slippers, one of my weaknesses even if I already have a few.

I like “pambalay” clothes, another one of my weaknesses even if it won’t fit in my drawer anymore.

I comb my hair on my way out of the room (the price for not getting out of bed immediately).

 I like coin purses, especially colorful ones.

I enjoy going to Watson’s.

I enjoy the company of my friends.

I enjoy the company of my classmates.

 I enjoy the company of my colleagues in A-team.

I enjoy my stay in ACO.

I buy things ahead, stock it (shampoo, soap, tissue, wet tissues, sanitary napkin, toothpaste, toothbrush, lotion etc) so that I have buffer in case I used up my existing.

I like bags.

I keep stock of face towels.

I go for big bags coz i have lots of things to put in it.

My bags are usually heavy (no joke).

I like to put things in small bags or pouches especially during travel. If you open my bag, you will see smaller bags or pouces inside it.

I usually find a hard time making my baggage light coz i bring all the things i think i may need. (reason for the big bags) Why? What if you need to cut your nail? (I have nail cutter)… What if your stomach aches? (i have meds, even haplas (”,) ).. What if your slippers give way? Or your shirt got dirty? (aha!, i have extras).. lol

During travel, expect me to constantly take my things out and arrange it.

I like the thought of bringing something for those left during travels.

 I like colors; even at work my files are usually colorful. =)

I like beaches and nature.

I like my table arranged and orderly.

I like burger steaks.

alone

I have always wondered..

Why is it that people make mistakes that would leave them scarred for most if not the rest of their lives?

Why is it that we jump into decisions that we later on regret?

And why is it that we pained so much for those miscalculated decisions that we willingly made before?

Why do i ask these questions? Simply because i had my share of not so wise decisions,,, which though i regret, i also viewed as lessons to learn which molded me into what i am now…

And also because i have seen lives in the verge of giving up because of a wrong decision made… Lives of people around me,,, people I just knew,,,, and what struck me most is of those people who are dear to me… people who are close to my heart..

Sometimes I asked myself, where was I when they made these decisions? I should have been there to advise, to prevent them from experiencing that state of devastation that made me ache as well, just by watching them get hurt.

Let me tell you a story…

A few years back, I looked into the eyes of a valuable person and saw sadness.. wretchedness..hurt.. pain.. Even with laughter coming out of the mouth, those eyes don’t reflect the happiness that the laughter wanted to deceivably portray..

At first, I was oblivious to what I saw.. Later on, no matter how I tried to deny it, I was drawn to that look.. my heart ached everytime I saw the unhappiness lurking beneath those eyes.. It made me want to reach out and drive away that look..

If only I could turn back time, that sadness would not have come into those eyes. I could have been the shield that would prevent it from happening.. I wanted to put a spark of happiness into those eyes.. I wanted them to laugh together with the laughter of the voice.

In the process of reaching out, I discovered that the cause of such grief is a wrong decision made.. ouch, there it goes again.. miscalculated decision..

We are held accountable for the consequences of every decision made.. I guess this is all part of the wheel of life.. We are not perfect so there are times that we too have our share of not so wise decisions.

What’s important is we learn from it.

Now, slowly, the eyes that do not laugh are sparkling with happiness. Sometimes making me teary eyed just by remembering the look that once had been there.